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FDA approves AMAZING new fat loss drug (how stupid are we?)

By admin | In Fat Loss | on June 28, 2012

Dicke-Amerikaner_thumbAmericans are widely viewed as fat, lazy and stupid. I have no idea why so many think this.

Let’s see, maybe it could be the fact that we are the by far heaviest nation in the world (fat), we continually refuse to be accountable for the health issues brought on by a direct lack of activity (lazy) and we would rather pop the latest drug pushed by the pharmaceutical companies to solve all our problems than actually deal with the issues directly (stupid.)

Yeah, that could be where they are getting it.

Good news, the FDA has no intention of breaking that cycle of idiocy.

FDA-Logo-jpg_thumbIt seems just the other day the FDA gave approval to the first fat loss drug in over 13 years. Previous drugs deemed safe by the FDA had to be pulled due to concerns over safety. It seems they not only helped you to drop weight, they also made you drop dead.

The premature death thing was a pretty big draw back and it really hurt repeat sales.

So now they approve Belviq. This new fat loss kid on the block has shown to be slightly better than taking a placebo.

Literally 3% (in the best cases.)

Studies show that if you were a male weighing 220 pounds, after a year on Belviq you could drop ALL the way down to 214. So about .5 pounds per month.

I know, I know, try to contain your excitement.

Let’s say you are Joe, a 220 pound man referenced above. You bump into a friend after not seeing them for a month…

“Hey Joe, I haven’t seen you in a month – have you lost weight?

You reply “Why yes I have, I have been using Belviq and I’ve lost almost .5 pounds! I’m surprised you recognized me!”

2100_hl_dietpill_0628_thumbAnd the good news keeps coming… If you use Belviq you don’t have to worry about all those pesky known negative health issues like tumors and heart-valve defects – it seems only the animals tested were effected. The humans tested are fine (so far). So I’m sure you’ll be fine too.

So if you are cool with dropping almost .5 pounds in a month, and putting your health at risk you should head to the pharmacy right now and get on a waiting list to make sure you are the first to put Beliviq in your body. (Tumors be damned.)

We Americans must do our part to protect our fat, lazy and stupid image. So for the love of GOD avoid exercise, and whatever you do DO NOT pay any attention to your diet.

There is a pill for that now; Belviq, so you’ll be fine (until the tumors and heart valve defects kill you of course) but up until then you’ll be mostly fine.
-Josh

In case you did not catch the sarcasm in this article, let me leave you with this…

fitnesspill

 

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